The distress associated with being unable to conceive is usually acute, and strangely, but unfortunately, can go quite unrecognised. Many women and or couples finding themselves in the position of experiencing infertility or difficulties with a variety of in-utero disorders, often find themselves unable to process either what is happening to their bodies or what is happening to their emotions. This is especially distressing, because our society is capable of being quite dismissive; or perhaps even of 'turning a blind eye' to the extent of these difficulties.
Neo-natal or sudden infant death is also an event in peoples lives that causes intense and incomprehensible distress. The couples facing such a tragedy in their lives are often unable to get explanations for what has happened to them, or why. Frequently, friends and family are very supportive and offer help where they can; however the impact of such a loss on the couple concerned, continues long after family help stops. This compounds the feelings of grief for the couple. They are often reluctant to “wear out their welcome” with their friends and family; and thus remain trapped in a very sad world.
If couples have particular genetic difficulties or physiological conditions, they can sometimes have repeated experiences of being unable to conceive or with neo-natal death. Processing multiple experiences of this kind of grief takes enormous emotional energy and courage. Support Groups for these couples are often enormously valuable, however, individual experiences still require individual attention.